April 1, 2020 tedplayer4

To you, my life, before the crisis

I feel blue
because all I can think of is you
You and your gasping smile
your sunny charisma while
I feel blue.

Walking along that river
with you by my side
these memories make me shiver
when the sunflower which you held in your arm
kept the day we met, longer warm.

When we were dancing all night long
and the crowd was carrying our song
I fell deeply in love without even noticing
but then it came along, that thing
that made me realise
I miss you.

I felt yellow, orange, pink and green
but without you to me it seems
that I feel blue and only blue
cause without you
I simply don’t know what to do.

Ones always starting to miss something,
when all of a sudden you can’t have it anymore
like the night we spend on the shore,
looking for sandcastles on the beach
that could be reached by the blue sea.
Jumping in the rain and kissing frogs in the fog
spending hours in our imagination just to talk
about what adventures to start when we get old.

Dreaming about those past years, my heart gets cold
and my soul turns blue, because it seems as if I lost you.
I am just too used to see you every day
to stray through fields of hay
sitting next to a bonfire
were I tell you my one and only desire.

Having to distance me from you,
you my adventureous soul
you my life, my choices to take;

One day I will wake
up to a blue sky
and I will again be able to fly
with mountains and shores
beloved ones and sometimes alone.

Adventures out there will wait for me
the rising cities and the deep blue sea
They will wait for me,
till I am able to run free
again.

Until I can catch another dream or hope
I will spend my time to cope
with whatever I try to run from, when you are by my side,
I will try to face myself with the fears I hide
with the time that I have now, since you are gone.
I will do the things I would have never done
because I would not have time for them, because of you.
I will try to be again orange, red, green and pink
with all my will-power try not to think
about what I am not able to do
but what I am able to do
because I am currently not with you,

although sometimes I do feel blue.

By Bernadette Czermak